A Moment of Healing

Some of you may remember the gorgeous bouquet of purple roses and lilies I received from a (at the time) very special person a few months ago. They were, to me, the most beautiful arrangement I'd ever received, and the fact that my heart was so set on this one human being who delivered the beauties to me while I was at work made them that more special. A few days after receiving them, I sat at his kitchen table and told him about how I wanted to press the roses and frame them to hang in my bedroom. "That's a great idea," he said. "Then they'll hang in our bedroom one day." My heart was on Cloud Nine. I went straight to Google and spent my free time researching how I was going to preserve these special mementos and keep their colors bright. I did everything right! I dried them, I hung them upside down so that the leaves all stayed together. I found the biggest books I could and gently arranged the roses with their bright purple hues on paper. I was so excited about these memories that were going to be framed forever! While pulling a rose out of the vase, a leaf broke off and fell in my lap. Thinking it was quite ordinary, but would add to the beauty of the roses, I decided to dry and press them as well. No, they weren't as pretty, but they would be a nice addition to the frame. I closed the books, set them in the corner of my room, and waited...

One week later. Just one week from receiving the bouquet, and everything changed with four words. "This just isn't working." The man who just a week before was making promises for a future just as bright as those flowers was now throwing those same flowers on the ground and crushing them under his feet. I left that conversation, determined to keep my dignity in tact (I refused to shed a tear in front of him), and promptly hid those books that were sitting in the corner of my room, and I gave it to God. Confused, broken, but gave it to God nonetheless. 

Fast forward two months. I hadn't heard a single word from him, and I thought I was finally starting to feel better. While cleaning my room one day, I came across the books and thought, "You know, this is the test. If my heart drops to the pit of my stomach seeing the results, I'll know I just need more time." So carefully, I begin opening the books, and I was more than surprised by what I found. 

The once vivid and vibrant shades of purple were now a grotesque puke-green. None of the original brilliance was left. I was so confused! I'd done everything the websites said to do! I was so careful and meticulous about how I preserved the flowers! What went wrong!? 

I decided to check the leaves. I thought, "Surely, if the roses turned out this bad, the leaves have got to be hysterically worse." I didn't at all expect to find what I found. 

The leaves, the things I thought were dull and "normal", still held their emerald hues and maintained perfect condition. I was completely blown away. I sat there on my bed, books scattered over the sheets, leaves and roses in my lap, and that's when I heard it. Not so much as heard, but felt it in the core of my being. 

I felt God saying, "What you think is beautiful and what I think is beautiful do not always line up. Sometimes, what you think is beautiful is only beautiful for a short time, and then it's left to rot and decay. What I think is beautiful, the things that you often think are normal, are things that you don't expect. Just as those roses wouldn't have ever been beautiful without the leaves to provide their nutrients, your life that you consider mundane is the building blocks for the beautiful times."

I'm not sure if that makes sense to you guys, but I sat there laughing at the leaves and the roses in my lap. Just this one, unexpected moment, was the moment I needed for true healing.