My parents were cleaning the bathroom together. Dad was sitting near the tub and Mom was leaning up against the bathroom sink, both talking with quiet voices that even my ten-year-old mind would know meant serious business. I approached carefully, and when they heard me walk in, they both turned and focused their attention on me. "We have something to tell you, and it's going to be hard, but we're all in this together." I remember the heartbreak that my little heart felt as my parents explained that we'd be moving to Nashville that summer, leaving our little Texas town behind. Through sniffles, I remember telling them that I'd be alright, and then I left the room to call my best friend to have a good cry through it.
The first year in Nashville was the hardest. As the new kid in school and being as shy as I was, I didn't make any solid friends. I struggled with living in a town as big as White House and having 250 kids in my class as opposed to 40. It was an adjustment that took, honestly, a couple of years for me to get used to.
Fourteen years later, and I cannot imagine what life would've been like if I'd never moved to the big city. The end of a road trip is always exhilarating as we reach I24 and get to gaze at the Nashville skyline. Home. The skyline itself fills me with a sense of relief, knowing that my trip is almost complete and I'm back where I belong.
Belong for now.
Five years ago I made a decision to venture out of the nest and see what life is like on my own. I explored Virginia, making the choice to go to Liberty University and live in Fredericksburg with a dear friend I met on Tumblr on the long weekends. My first trip out to Lynchburg and Fredericksburg left me with excitement. I can remember walking in downtown Fredericksburg and thinking, "I'm going to be here. I don't know when I'm going to live here, but I'm going to live here." So as things fell through not once, but twice, in moving to Virginia, I never lost that sense of belonging there. A handful or two of trips out there, and it always felt like a dream. A dream that I was waiting patiently to become a reality. Until recently.
A few weeks ago I made the trip to Virginia to surprise Lauren for her birthday. I knew, just driving down Germanna Highway on the way into Fredericksburg, that my time was coming. It no longer felt like a dream world. It no longer held a sense of hopeful belonging, but more of a sense of arrival. I felt like I'd finally found my timing had come. A few days later at dinner with Matt, that feeling was confirmed. And I can't explain it as anything other than a quiet, still calm that filled my innermost being.
So with that being said, here's my big announcement. I will be moving to Virginia in September.
While this is an extremely exciting and exhilarating moment for me, it's also terrifying and unnerving. For a lady who has always lived at home with her parents, the thought of venturing ten hours away leaves me with a rock in my stomach. But the thought of doing something new, something I've never done before and waited so patiently for... It's almost more excitement than I can handle.
The nerves and the sadness of leaving my people has been the hardest emotion I've dealt with. I've made so many new relationships within just the last month, not to mention the relationships I've had for years upon years, and the thought of leaving them behind hurts my heart like no other. The other night I went to a Sounds game with Bentley, and as I was walking through Bicentennial Mall and looking at the Capitol, I had a wave of emotion, from excitement to anxiety, from sadness to joy, sweep over me all in one motion. Walking down the street with the Mall on one side and the Farmer's Market on the other, I realized just how much I was going to miss this city. The city I dreaded moving to fourteen years ago has become my safe place, and with new adventures waiting for me, it's time to move out of my comfort zone and see what God has waiting for me.
So, here's to new beginnings. Life is big and beautiful.
